Hello... Hello... Is anyone there???
This week’s blog has nothing to do with music... or almost nothing. It’s more of a comment on the state of the world and how things have changed in this one particular way among others. I’m not very old, but somedays I feel like I am. I’m a millennial and I get teased about it constantly, like I can control how this generation I’m supposedly defined by goes about their day (insert eye roll here) I feel like an old lady trapped inside a young person’s body some days. My hobbies include hiking with Max, gardening, canning, crocheting blankets, and generally making yummy things to stuff in my mouth. Not a bad set of hobbies really. This doesn’t make me feel old. I feel productive most days when I’m creating delicious concoctions.
What makes me feel old is the lack of courtesy all around me. I’m not sure when it happened, but things changed big time. I didn’t. When I say I’ll call you back, I will. When I am emailing or texting someone, I don’t drop them mid conversation because I’m suddenly not interested in them anymore. I’m not sure why this happens so often. And not just in a personal conversation with someone. I was in a conversation discussing a business opportunity, that THEY approached ME about just a few weeks ago. I asked questions that were relevant to the opportunity to see if this guy was full of hot air or if he actually had something to offer us. After a few minutes (and I was polite!!) he just disappeared mid conversation. No explanation - STILL haven’t heard back from him. Did he realize I knew more about what he was offering than he did and move onto the next unsuspecting victim who wants to further their music career, but doesn’t know better than to investigate before agreeing? How about this girl who put an ad on Facebook saying she needed help training for a physical test and would like to meet up with someone local who has experience doing that sort of thing. I offered to help her (I used to be a martial arts instructor and personal trainer for those who don’t know) and chatted a bit. When it came time to organize meeting up to discuss exact goals and her fitness history, she gave a date, but no time... and then all of a sudden she’s gone. I send a message a couple days later asking if she still wants to meet... nothing. A “I’ve found someone else, thank you anyways” would have worked. To disappear is so rude. What did I do wrong to deserve your complete lack of respect? I was the one trying to help YOU, not the other way around. And then to come up with a some kind of excuse to justify your behaviour so I feel bad... well I don’t buy it, so it didn’t work. If you’re going through something intense and crazy, you still have a few seconds to type “I can’t talk now - get back to you next week.” I did that to a few people when Max was sick. Friends text and I told them that exactly and guess what, every single one of them understood where I was coming from. No one said I was rude or short with them.
When did ignoring people become normal? Was it online dating that made this acceptable? If I don’t want to talk to you anymore because I have thousands of other options at my fingertips at all times, then I just drop you?? That’s another problem altogether and I’m not getting into it. All I will say is how do you plan to get to know someone if you only give them enough time to be initially impressive and then go date someone else for a few weeks until they’re boring too and so on and so on. There’s NO WAY you could actually focus enough energy into one person at a time to actually have a real relationship. ANYWAYS... moving on. My brain can’t even start to go down that road. It’s just so broken. Can you imagine acting this way to someone in person? They say something to you and you don’t respond at all. You turn and walk away or start a conversation with someone else. It’s not the most immature thing “adults” are doing these days, but it gets close.
So the take away from this? Train myself to not get offended when people act like selfish jerks?? Don’t take it personally when people treat you like your time and effort is expected, but not appreciated?? Why is this acceptable in our society? If you say you’re going to call at “this time” then why don’t you do it? Are people really THAT busy and so self absorbed into their own lives that they have no respect for someone else’s time? I don’t know how many times I’ve been talking to someone and planning to go out to the farm, but instead of leaving my phone in the vehicle like I normally would, I have it on me - absorbing all the waves and good things that come with it - just so I don’t disappear on that person or because they said they would be calling back and I wouldn’t want to let them down by not being around to answer. They did take the time to call back after all, shouldn’t I respect them by being available when I said I would be? Nope. That’s just not how the world works. This is why if we weren’t playing music and going out to conquer the world, I would be a tomato farmer and have goats AND NO CELL PHONE. No phone at all. I could live on a mountain, in a cave, on a deserted island and be ever so happy. Friends? Friends are nice. Those that we still spend time with know who they are. The other thing I could do I guess is only be out for myself. That would solve everything. Everyone else is just out for themselves, so I guess I’ll join em. I’m already proving how selfish I am by not having kids, so I might as well go all out. (yeah right)
It feels like society has changed and will continue to change to be more inclusive to certain groups of people who may have not been recognized or addressed the way they want to be. That’s all great, but we can’t forget about common courtesy as we try to become more politically correct. One without the other is not going to be good for you, me, or anyone! Please try to remember this and if you see someone doing this, let them know it’s not ok. If it’s become acceptable to ignore people when we feel like it, it’s because we accept it. So let’s not accept it.